And the Winner Is ... (Ta-da-da-da ... *horn music*)

Alas, my creative book banners, I haven't forgotten you! We were swept away into airports and travel nightmares, cesspools of germs floating around enclosed tubes in the sky and landed in LA then headed to San Diego. I have the "SHAMU SHAMU" song stuck in my head and it's been almost two weeks since our Shamu shower at Sea World. Is there somebody I can sue about that? There HAS to be. I mean, this IS the States, now, isn't it? Okay, lawsuits aside ... WE HAVE A WINNER!! Our panel of judges carefully read all the entries and finally determined which of your twisted and crazy minds deserved FOUR AWESOME NOVELS! (Yes. We really had a panel because I thought it would be more fair that way.

Here goes!
A concerned citizen in Reno wrote the following about that seemingly innocuous Christmas Classic: HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS:

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS...... Where should I start with this abominable piece of trash? First of all, the author is a total fraud: "Doctor" Suess? Doctor????? What would he have been able to accomplish in a medical emergency? The only thing Mr. Suess contributed to humanity is a despicable excuse for children’s literature that encourages such atrocities as listed below:
1. The book is unabashedly blasphemous and seeks to defile the hallowed Christmas holiday.
2. The main character is a single man living alone… the homosexual undertones cannot be ignored.
3. The “Grinch” throughout the story engages in animal abuse, breaking and entering, grand larceny and impersonating an individual of authority.
4. Even more disturbing, however, are the implicit pedophiliac tendencies displayed by this supposed protagonist. How can we possibly allow our children to be exposed to a book where a grown man is lurking lasciviously in a young girl’s bedroom? Talk about “To Catch a Predator!”
Clearly, this book must be pulled from the shelves in order to protect the fragile innocence of our young people.

CONGRATS! To 'A CONCERNED CITIZEN IN RENO' You are now the proud owner of four novels, two of which are signed. You have been contacted and the novels are en route!

To everyone else, I hope you continue sharing wonderful literature with your kids, students, sisters, nieces, parents and more. The only way to stop banning -- that nasty, ridiculous habit people use to, um, I don't know, propagate fear and misinformation -- is TO READ BANNED BOOKS and fight for teachers, authors, librarians and readers who want access to information. THIS IS CALLED INTELLECTUAL FREEDOM and is one of those cool things that differentiates the USA (or SHOULD) from other countries with horrible, castrating regimes. Just think of it as the intellectual opposable thumb of society -- what separates us from the goons.

Happy reading. CONGRATS TO A CONCERNED CITIZEN  IN RENO!